My aunt Wendy has just sent me a hilarious missive – a leaflet that says,

Help us knit hen jumpers!

Reading my chapter about 007 the ex-bat, she was reminded of the time she knitted woolies for bald battery hens. Her charity ‘Little hen rescue’ provides a fully comprehensive pattern – a delightfully stylish concoction, with a delicate cowl buttoning around the neck and a snugly fitted tail section. Now I’m trying to work out a way for Wendy to knit me something for my silkie hens using a material tougher than wool (hemp, perhaps). Inspired by the steamy summer weather, their cockerel brother is constantly pawing on their backs, ┬áthreatening soon to render them walking ovenreadies. I thought some sort of saddle might help…